Getting My Drunk On (Tried to Anyway)

Let me preface this post by saying that I am a rare alcoholic comsumptionist (Do you like that word? I just made it up.). By rare, I mean that I consume alcohol about once every two years and there are several reasons for this. First and foremost, I don't enjoy feeling like I'm not 100 percent in control. In addition, I have found it more entertaining to watch people who are drunk verses being drunk myself. Alcohol can make you do embarrassing things and I don't need any help in that category. Finally, I consumed more alcohol and experienced too many spinning rooms before I was of legal age to last a lifetime (sorry, mom).

I was never good at being a drinker. When I was younger, the parties I went to only had beer as an option. I hated the taste of beer but I would drink it because everyone else was. It would take me about two hours to drink one glass and the one thing that is more gross than beer, is WARM beer (gag).

I once heard someone order a gin and sour at a bar so I decided to get one. I didn't care for it much but I would order it every time I went out because I really didn't know what any of the other drinks were.

The one time I experimented with trying another drink, I ordered a Bloody Mary because I thought the name sounded cool. Unfortunately, I don't like tomato juice so you can imagine my reaction when I took my first sip. Yuck!

So, you see, I wasn't a very good drinker.

Over the years, I have found a few drinks that I do enjoy on occasion. Now, when I want to drink alcohol, I usually go for something fruity or indulge in some sort of ice cream drink. You can't go wrong with ice cream. My all time favorite? Grasshoppers! Yummy, yummy!

So, the other day, I was in the mood for a Grasshopper. I knew that I had the alcohol needed because I made one five years some time ago. (You can store alcohol for awhile can't you?)

I also knew that I had the ice cream ( I always have it).

Unfortunately, when I removed the lid, this is what I found.

Uh, oh. Well, that doesn't look too promising, does it? I was always a center scooper and my mother scolded me regarding this all the time when I was younger. I would scoop the ice cream from the middle of the container and not the sides. I don't know why, it just seemed easier. Apparently, I still have that habit. Unfortunately, what I was looking at now was definitely not going to be enough for a Grasshopper.

On to Plan B.

I remembered that I bought myself some Apple Martini mix, um, two years awhile ago. I found it and blew the dust off and decided to make a Martini instead.

Unfortunately, after reading it, it looked like there was no alcohol in it. I guess you have to buy that separately. (I told you I wasn't a drinker.) What this appeared to be was just apple juice. Not what I wanted to drink at all.

After searching around for another option, the only other alcohol I found was my husband's beer. Uh, no thanks.

Oh, well. Ended up having a Crystal Light. Weeee! Bottoms up!