Sigh...

Today is Wish List Wednesday but there will be no post about a product. Why, nobody asks? Because, I just don't feel like it. I have been in a stinky mood for last several days and have no desire to come up with a product to display and discuss. My brain is just not in the mood. There have been some life stresses going on recently and I'm just not feeling it. Boy, what a bummer post this is. Blah.

Let's see. Happy thoughts. I have been doing the whole going back to college after many, many years thing and went through some old emails from the school the other day in an effort to clear out all the junk emails. I was pleasantly surprised to see my name on the Dean's List. Holy cow! My name has never been close to being on that kind of list. Ever! So, I was quite tickled pink about it. Woohoo! Yay, me!! It may be the last time though because my next class that starts in a few weeks (yuck) is going to be a very challenging one.

That's about all I have right now. Time to crawl back in my dark and dreary hole in the corner and pout.

   

You Are Evil

Dear Evil Mosquito,

Last night, my husband and I went out to enjoy some Fireworks. As soon as we sat down, you attacked us with a vengeance. Our swatting hands did not stop you and your friends from wreaking havoc on our skin. And I see you invited your friend, the 2 inch long beetle to attack the back of my head and fall on my shoulder. Thanks for that one. My husband and all the surrounding people really appreciated my screaming when that happened.

Well, that was certainly the last straw and we had enough. We decided to walk around the parking lot because we figured a moving target would be harder to hit. Eventually, that seemed to work and by the time the fireworks started you, thankfully, had decided to leave us alone.

I am curious though. How in the hell did I get 32 bumps (yes, I actually counted) on the side of my leg from my hip to my knee when I had jeans on? Boy, you guys are good.

Not so Sincerely,


Your Up All Night Itching Enemy
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Random Thoughts

Random Thought #1

Excuse me, Miss? At lunch today, while parked in my usual spot at the lake, I watched you park your car, get out, stand by it, and start reading a book. Just standing there right next to the driver's side door and reading. Why would you not just sit in your car and read? Why would you not walk about twenty feet to sit on a bench to read? I don't know but that just seemed weird to me. But I consider myself weird so maybe it's just me.

Random Thought #2

Why, Mr. Young People, do you have to wear your pants half off your rear end and show me a good majority of your underwear?

I really could do without seeing that. Is this considered sexy or something? Really? I can't wait until you get older and look back at what you thought was cool and trendy. I know I laugh all the time at my old pictures. I used to think that teasing my hair until it stood a good eight inches off my head looked cool. Not so much now. I use those pictures now for comic relief at parties.

I guess it could be worse.

Pardon me while I wash my eyes with peroxide.

Random Thought #3
Why in the world would anyone buy this car?

Nissan Cube

This has got to be the ugliest car I have ever seen. I can understand the cheaper price and good gas mileage but seriously, the design leaves something to be desired. (Oh, don't get all bent out of shape Cube owners, just my opinion.)

Sorry, a little crabby today.

Electricity, the Best Discovery Ever!

Once upon a time, long, long ago, there was no such thing as electricity. Last night, I found out what a boring existence that must have been. I also found out I wouldn't have done very well dealing with it.

On the way home from work yesterday, I found myself smack dab in the middle of a bad storm. The winds were howling at about 60 mph and there was torrential rain. It only lasted for about a half an hour but it apparently did a lot of damage with many trees falling down around the city. By the time I got home, the bad stuff had passed.

The weather all day was pretty humid and temperatures reached almost 90 degrees so the inside of my home was extremely uncomfortable. I immediately turned on the air conditioner and a bunch of fans to cool down the place. Ten minutes later, the power went out. "Oh, crap!"

This has happened off and on in the past so I thought that soon it would come back on and the fans would start blowing again.

Or maybe not.

Hour one passes and I'm starting to think this may be awhile. I am also thinking about the television shows I normally watch are going to be starting soon and I'm hoping it's going to be back on by then. It is still light out so I decide to read a bit, wiping sweat from my forehead so it doesn't fall onto the pages. (A little tidbit about me. I HATE sweating. I don't know why but it just makes me feel gross and really, really crabby. I know, weird, but true.)

Hour two passes and the sun is starting to go down. I get out the candles because I can no longer see the pages of the book. I don't know how people can read by candlelight because it definitely puts a strain on the eyes. So, I decided to give up on that. So what else does one do without electricity? I stared at the walls, impatiently tapping my fingers.

Hour three passes. Oh, brother, this really stinks. It is completely dark outside and not much better inside. Still starting at the walls and sweating. Now, I'm starting to think about the calzone in the refrigerator that I was going to eat but I can't use the microwave. I search for something to eat that doesn't need to be cooked. Cookies! That's a good supper.

Hour four passes and I'm still staring at the walls and sweating. Hello? Anyone out there fixing the problem? By now, after sitting in the dark for four hours, I'm getting a little antsy. My car is in the garage, which I can't get into without power. Finally, my husband gets home! I grab his keys, run out the door and go for a drive. With the air conditioner blasting. I was in heaven. Now, lightning starts shooting like crazy through the sky and I'm thinking driving around may not be such a good idea after all. I hear a very loud crackling sound like a transmitter blowing and decided that I might want to head indoors again. Oh, well. it was good while it lasted.

Hour five passes and it seems like forever ago that I had a cool breeze blowing in my face. Back to sweating and staring at the walls. I am bored out of my mind and there is nothing I can do about it. My eyes are darting between the dark screens of the television and computer, wishing that they would magically turn back on. I decided that the only thing left to do is to go to bed. So, that's what I did.

According to the flashing clocks when I woke up, it was another 3 hours before the power came back on. Going to bed, I guess, was a good decision.

Things I learned (most of which I already knew):

• I am addicted to television.
• I am addicted to the Internet.
• I am addicted to the microwave.
• I need to buy food that doesn't need to be cooked.
• I need to find ways to entertain myself when I don't have any of the above.
• I hate sweating.
• I love electricity.

The end.

Sometimes, You Just Can't Wait

Well, I guess a background check doesn't necessarily weed out the weirdos. Apparently, a female bus driver didn't see any problem with parking her school bus in a residential neighborhood, relieving herself in a plastic bag, and tossing it out on the lawn. Once? Nope! Twice? Nope! Many, many times. Luckily, people in the neighborhood got tired up picking up after her (yuck!) and managed to catch her on video. Needless to say, she is no longer an employee of this company.

Nasty, nasty, nasty. I would imagine this was not an easy task and would also imagine she wasn't, uh, how do I word this, 100% accurate in her aim. Not to mention the inability to wash her hands afterwards. Lovely.

Aren't you glad your children are not getting on this bus? Anyone want to vote for cameras on all school buses? Might not be a bad idea.

If you don't see a video below and are interested in seeing it along with the article, you can see at Fox6now.com. For some reason, the video keeps on disappearing after I save it.

Fire Drills, High Heels and Flashing

Fire drills are a pain in the patootie. However, I realize that they are necessary so that everyone is aware of where to go in case of an emergency. That being said, they can really get on my nerves. 

Fire drills are not fun when you are sitting in a very quite office and all of a sudden an ear piercing alarm goes off making you practically fall off your chair.

Fire drills are not fun when you are feverishly working to meet a deadline and you really don't have time to leave your desk.

Fire drills are not fun when you are located on the tenth floor of a building and have to take the stairs down to get out.

Fire drills are not fun when you are wearing four inch heels and you now have to walk down ten flights of stairs.

Fire drills are not fun when you have knee pain when walking down stairs and now you have to walk down ten flights of stairs in four inch heels.

Fire drills are not fun when you finally make it down to the ground level and have to go through a door to the outside that makes a loud, piercing noise the minute you open it, which then gives you hearing loss for the remainder of the day.

Fire drills are not fun when you get outside and are met with gusting winds that blow your skirt up and show your co-workers the color of your underwear.

Fire drills are not fun when you have to stand outside and listen to a ten minute lecture about fire drills while you are trying to keep the gusting wind from blowing your skirt over your head and your hair from flying in your mouth.

The only thing I like about fire drills is that we get a free cookie for our cooperation.

The end.

Where's My Internet?

O.k., I'm addicted to the internet. I am. It has a powerful hold on me that I cannot break.

I came home the other day from work and I saw the "page cannot be displayed" message glaring back at me. What?!? Where is my internet? My heart rate increased and I started to panic. Reboot! Refresh! Reboot! Refresh! What? Still no internet? Where is it? Help!

It was time to get the internet provider involved. After being on hold for what seemed like three days, I was told there was something wrong with the card and it would have to be replaced. O.k., well whatever that means, how long do I have to wait? Well, since only four people were sharing that card, it's not considered a "real" problem.

Uh, excuse me? So, if there were 50 people without service, they would get started on the problem right away but since only four were involved, they didn't see it as a "real" problem? Uh, it's a real problem to me, people. I want my internet!!! Now!!!

Well, they didn't seem to care that I had internet withdrawals all night long. They didn't seem to care that I kept on refreshing the page every 15 minutes to see if the problem was fixed yet. They didn't seem to care that I did this from 6 p.m. until 2 a.m. They didn't seem to care that I still didn't have service when I woke up the next morning. How rude!

Yes, I have a problem and it is internet addiction. Welcome back my lovely internet, I missed you so. Don't leave me for so long again, please.

Oh, Crap!

As I was going through my mail the other day, I came across an envelope that I have never seen before. My husband has received several of these envelopes over the years. I was beginning to think I would never see one in my lifetime, and I was thrilled about it. Oh, but no such luck.

Oh, crap! They found me! Jury duty.

I. DON'T. WANT. TO. GO! No, I don't. The only hope I have is that I am a reserve juror. Unfortunately, they are telling a small group of the reserve jurors that they have to report on Monday a.m. I'm not in that group, thankfully, but I still need to get through Monday p.m. and Tuesday.

I really don't want to end up being a jury member. I don't want to have to decide the fate of somebody. For some reason, it scares the crap out of me. So, what do you think if I just stand up and yell out, "Guilty! Guilty! They're always guilty!" Do you think they would say, "No thanks. You can leave now." Or maybe I can just start arguing with myself out loud while twitching my head violently.

Ugh, this stinks!

Exercise? What's That?

Sigh... Exercise is something that people either hate or love. I fall in the hate group and I hate it with a passion. Why? Well, the honest answer is that I am LAZY and I'm not afraid to admit it. 

When I hear people tell me how great exercise makes them feel, I just don't understand. All exercise makes me feel is sweaty, tired and annoyed. I don't get that burst of energy or feel all warm and fuzzy when I exercise. Someone please explain this me.

My mother for one, who is a very active 70 something year old woman, puts me to shame. She has a membership to a gym and works out there several days a week. She spends four or five HOURS walking, swimming, and doing other exercises. She LOVES how it makes her feel and bums out when she has to skip a day. I DON'T GET IT!

I, on the other hand, am the complete opposite. Over the past 20 years, I have attempted numerous exercise routines and different eating plans on and off.

My last attempt was in 2005, about a year before my wedding. Yes, that is the last time I exercised, thank you. Anyway, my last attempt was successful and I met my goal but I fought it every step of the way. It took every ounce of energy and control to drag my butt to the treadmill and to stay on it for more than 2 minutes.

Well, since then my eating habits have gone down the drain and my only exercise is walking to the refrigerator.

See, now that's my idea of exercise! Pathetic. Currently, I'm about one size larger than I'd like to be. So, not a lot but still enough not to be happy.

So, ugh, time for attempt number 382.

Last time, changing my eating habits wasn't too difficult. I just focused on the healthy foods that I liked and cut out the unhealthy foods. So that part of the plan wasn't too much of a struggle. Over time, the unhealthy foods just kind of slowly snuck back in, one cookie at a time.

It's just the darn exercise that is the issue. Anyone have any tips on trying to stay motivated (besides the end result of having a cute butt)? What has worked for those who also hate to exercise? Help!!!

Excuse Me, Officer

Dear Mr. Officer,

I saw you behind me even though you were driving in an undercover car. Sneaky, sneaky but I saw you! I hope you noticed that when the light turned green, I didn't take off like a maniac and I continued to drive the speed limit. I did that for you, you know, even though I was probably annoying the long line of cars behind me.

I then saw you get into the other lane and thought that maybe you were going to turn off the road. But you didn't do that, did you? Nope, instead you passed me on by. However, I noticed you passed by me pretty darn quickly. Huh, if I was going the speed limit, how come you were flying by me really fast? Oh, I know, YOU WERE SPEEDING Mr. Officer. Yes, you certainly were. I must have missed the sign.

Well, since everyone else was keeping up with your speed, I decided I would too. I didn't want to be the odd man out, you know. Huh, interesting. I noticed my car was now going 15 miles an hour OVER the speed limit just to keep up with YOU and everyone else. Hmm, very interesting indeed.

I wonder if you are the same one who handed me two speeding tickets a few years ago on this very road.

Signed Confused and Not Amused,


Trivial Chatterer

(Note: No squirrels were in danger at the time of this incident. This is not a residential road. It's a mile long extension to the beginning of a freeway. It's quite silly that the speed limit is only 40 and you will rarely find someone driving under 50. Speeding is bad, very, very, bad and I am in no way endorsing it.)

Blogger Number ??? / Vent Session #1

Yet another blogger. Just what the world needs, right? What kind of captivating, exciting ramblings will I have to share? Not sure yet but you will probably find a variety of random thoughts and opinions that are currently floating around in my head. So let’s get started, shall we?

What's on my mind right now are my annoying neighbors. Anyone have one? No? Oh, consider yourself very lucky. I unfortunately live in an apartment with cardboard walls. In the past hour, as I am trying to live out my dream as being the world's best couch potato, I have had the pleasure of hearing doors slamming.

The slamming is hard enough to make things on the wall vibrate. Once? Twice? Oh, no. I wish I were that lucky. Ten to fifteen times sounds about right. No exaggerating here. I am blessed to have to deal with this on a daily basis, all day and all night. Can you tell me why people need to go in and out of their home that many times in an hour because I can’t figure it out. What in the world are they doing? Running out to their garage? Running out to their car? Running around the apartment? WHAT ARE THEY DOING AND WHY DO THEY HAVE TO SLAM THE DOOR EVERY SINGLE TIME???

If that wasn’t enough, they are annoyingly loud talkers and shouters. They aren’t fighting mind you but it’s the kind of shouting you might hear when people are watching a football game and someone just made a touchdown.

Are these people watching football all the time or are they just that excited about everything? SHUT THE HELL UP OVER THERE!! Seriously.

Wait! It doesn’t end there. Someone over there likes to play music, practice playing his guitar and blasting video games. LOUDLY.

Their favorite times are late at night or early in the morning. Yeah! Fun. Especially when you hear the same song, over and over and over and over and over and over. I’m tempted to send them a CD just to change it up a little. Think they would mind if I put in a request since I’m part of the audience? TURN THAT CRAP DOWN PLEASE!! Thank you.

And just when you thought I was done… Have you ever had a neighbor that sounded like they were banging on walls or throwing things around all the time? Welcome to my world. Are they doing construction over there? Maybe wrestling matches? Rearranging furniture? Please tell me what you are constantly doing that makes so much noise.

Dear neighbor,

How long are you planning on living here? Not long I hope. Home is supposed to be a place to relax after a long day at work. It would nice if you would maybe think about someone other than yourself. It’s called consideration. Look it up in the dictionary please and start practicing. In case you weren't aware of this, I would like to inform you that you are not the only one that lives here.

Signed,

Your pissed off neighbor.

Bitch session over. Thanks for listening.

Note to self: Next post needs to be about puppies, sunshine, or other happy thoughts for a little balance (or so people don't think you are a crabby old bat).